Sending kids abroad for study is one of the toughest decision ever made by parents. The thought of something going horribly wrong miles away from home is always looming in the hearts of some parents.
While
some parents find it hard to let go of their love ones, others simply do it
with ease and completely oblivious of some difficulties awaiting their love
ones abroad.
Some
families spend a great deal of time searching for information about the study
location. Everything from weather, culture, economy , language , etc. This is a
very good move by families who really care about the well being of their love ones.
Some
countries have a history of racism and some the likelihood of a civil war or
perhaps a very high crime rate. Although you want your kid to come back with a
degree, you also don’t want them to get caught up in situations listed above.
Beyond this keep in mind that your kid can come back a
very different person. Take things like religious affiliation, sexual orientation,
culture, language, and general social interations, etc.
Those
are just a few things that may change as they return home with a degree. The
environment we live in sometimes help build who we are. Hence, it is important
that we are not ignorant of the kind of environment we expose our kids to.
So you send your kids abroad for
studies, now what? It is important that you give a full support whether morally
or financially. There is a real need to keep track of what they are doing
especially since you the parent is miles away.
A
phone call as often as you can helps, skype, social media, visits to the
location of study to mention a few. These are some of the ways you can lend
your support as a parent especially at the early stages. Don’t forget in the
first year some kids don’t handle culture shock too well.
Again
the weather, people, environment all play a role especially when under great
pressure in the first year of studies.
In my case, apart from the fact that I missed home
greatly, questions like;
How do I get around? – to and
from campus, the grocery store, etc.
How do I make new friends?
What is acceptable and not
acceptable in my new environment?
How do I open a bank
account and where do I get health insurance card?
Will I be able to adapt to
the lectures, class mates and academics in a new language or different accent?
Will academics be easy?
Will my parents be happy
with my first year results? What if I fail?
Bus pass? Grocery stores?
Transportation around the city?, malls? Calling cards to call everyone back
home?
The
questions go on and on.
For
some of these questions, spending the first year on campus residence really
helps but the parents still need to be in touch in all aspects to encourage the
child especially If they arrived unaccompanied.
Some
of my friends never really had any moral support from the parents. It was so
bad some parents never knew anything beyond the name of the school.
For some parents all the support came in form of finances
and that was it. As long as they sent money they had completed their part as a
parent. The short story below shows this is not always the case.
Take
the case of Jacob, a fellow international student at the time (1st
year).
“Hey Jacob, how much is tuition this year?”
and Jacob quickly replies, $25,000 CAD Dad.
Because
Jacob’s Dad could care less about Jacob’s school, he just ended up squeezing
out an extra $19,000 from his Dad. The school fees for the academic year was $6,000.
So armed with this extra money and a few friends, Jacob is now determined to enjoy his new found
wealth at the expense of studies for years to come. Aside, from lavishly
spending in clubs, Jacob was now into buying luxury cars and exotic trips.
Four years gone by and Jacob has switched programs
twice with two academic warnings and a one year academic suspension. None of
these recent developments have been disclosed to his parents.
Long
story short, 5.5 years gone by Jacob is not saying much about studies or a
degree and when the parents finally begin to do some digging they are heart
broken to find out he is no longer in school. He has been kicked out. There are numerous cases out there. Jacob’s
case is just one of them.
Key
lessons for parents:
Don’t
just 'ship' your kids abroad to bring home a degree. Keep in touch with your kids
regularly --- skype, social media, phone
call, visits, etc.
As
bizarre as it sounds kindly ask them for the password to check their results
online, especially if you are funding the tuition. Take for instance, when
students receive scholarships there is always a level of academic expectancy.
Any time, the student under-performs they can easily be dropped by their sponsors.
You can simply ignore this if you really really trust them.
It
is not up to the guardian(friends or relatives) abroad to assume full
responsibility for your kid’s actions. If you leave you kids under the sole
care of a guardian you could be in for a surprise. There is a limit to what a
guardian can do.
Your
kids might pick up some of the culture abroad and bring it back home. Please don’t surprised if they experience
culture shock again. Be prepared to help the kids adapt again.
Don’t
force Law, Engineering and Medicine professions down the guts of your kids
without giving them a chance to explore.
If you take this route, chances are
your kids have already failed you at home before they depart for studies
abroad. In addition, they could face a certain amount of frustration and
depression doing something completely different because they want to please you,
the parent.
If
you can, find out what drives them and not what they want to drive. Find out
where their hearts meets their heads – Instinct. The parent can help grow the
child’s dreams especially if you know what drives them instinctively. Without this thought process, it will be money
and time down the drain.
Spend
some time on the school website, read about the programs, current news and
events. Assess how any new development might affect your kid’s well being in
school.
In
summary, please do not just 'ship' your kids abroad as an international student
to bring home a degree. Please be involved in the planning phase as well as the
execution phase of things. Keep in touch however you can as a parent and give
your kids the moral support that they need to succeed abroad.
