Before you 'ship' your kids abroad for study, please read.

         Sending kids abroad for study is one of the toughest decision ever made by parents. The thought of something going horribly wrong miles away from home is always looming in the hearts of some parents.

While some parents find it hard to let go of their love ones, others simply do it with ease and completely oblivious of some difficulties awaiting their love ones abroad.

Some families spend a great deal of time searching for information about the study location. Everything from weather, culture, economy , language , etc. This is a very good move by families who really care about the well being of their love ones.

Some countries have a history of racism and some the likelihood of a civil war or perhaps a very high crime rate. Although you want your kid to come back with a degree, you also don’t want them to get caught up in situations listed above.

Beyond this keep in mind that your kid can come back a very different person. Take things like religious affiliation, sexual orientation, culture, language, and general social interations, etc.

Those are just a few things that may change as they return home with a degree. The environment we live in sometimes help build who we are. Hence, it is important that we are not ignorant of the kind of environment we expose our kids to.

                So you send your kids abroad for studies, now what? It is important that you give a full support whether morally or financially. There is a real need to keep track of what they are doing especially since you the parent is miles away.

A phone call as often as you can helps, skype, social media, visits to the location of study to mention a few. These are some of the ways you can lend your support as a parent especially at the early stages. Don’t forget in the first year some kids don’t handle culture shock too well.

Again the weather, people, environment all play a role especially when under great pressure in the first year of studies.

In my case, apart from the fact that I missed home greatly, questions like;

How do I get around? – to and from campus, the grocery store, etc.

How do I make new friends?

What is acceptable and not acceptable in my new environment?

How do I open a bank account and where do I get health insurance card?

Will I be able to adapt to the lectures, class mates and academics in a new language or different accent?

Will academics be easy?

Will my parents be happy with my first year results? What if I fail?

Bus pass? Grocery stores? Transportation around the city?, malls? Calling cards to call everyone back home?  

The questions go on and on.

For some of these questions, spending the first year on campus residence really helps but the parents still need to be in touch in all aspects to encourage the child especially If they arrived unaccompanied.

Some of my friends never really had any moral support from the parents. It was so bad some parents never knew anything beyond the name of the school.

For some parents all the support came in form of finances and that was it. As long as they sent money they had completed their part as a parent. The short story below shows this is not always the case.

Take the case of Jacob, a fellow international student at the time (1^st year).

 “Hey Jacob, how much is tuition this year?” and Jacob quickly replies, $25,000 CAD Dad.

Because Jacob’s Dad could care less about Jacob’s school, he just ended up squeezing out an extra $19,000 from his Dad. The school fees for the academic year was $6,000.

 So armed with this extra money and a few friends, Jacob is now determined to enjoy his new found wealth at the expense of studies for years to come. Aside, from lavishly spending in clubs, Jacob was now into buying luxury cars and exotic trips.

Four years gone by and Jacob has switched programs twice with two academic warnings and a one year academic suspension. None of these recent developments have been disclosed to his parents.

Long story short, 5.5 years gone by Jacob is not saying much about studies or a degree and when the parents finally begin to do some digging they are heart broken to find out he is no longer in school. He has been kicked out.  There are numerous cases out there. Jacob’s case is just one of them.

Key lessons for parents:

Don’t just 'ship' your kids abroad to bring home a degree. Keep in touch with your kids regularly  --- skype, social media, phone call, visits, etc.

As bizarre as it sounds kindly ask them for the password to check their results online, especially if you are funding the tuition. Take for instance, when students receive scholarships there is always a level of academic expectancy. Any time, the student under-performs they can easily be dropped by their sponsors. 

You can simply ignore this if you really really trust them.

It is not up to the guardian(friends or relatives) abroad to assume full responsibility for your kid’s actions. If you leave you kids under the sole care of a guardian you could be in for a surprise. There is a limit to what a guardian can do.

Your kids might pick up some of the culture abroad and bring it back home.  Please don’t surprised if they experience culture shock again. Be prepared to help the kids adapt again.

Don’t force Law, Engineering and Medicine professions down the guts of your kids without giving them a chance to explore.

If you take this route, chances are your kids have already failed you at home before they depart for studies abroad. In addition, they could face a certain amount of frustration and depression doing something completely different because they want to please you, the parent.

If you can, find out what drives them and not what they want to drive. Find out where their hearts meets their heads – Instinct. The parent can help grow the child’s dreams especially if you know what drives them instinctively.  Without this thought process, it will be money and time down the drain.

Spend some time on the school website, read about the programs, current news and events. Assess how any new development might affect your kid’s well being in school.

       In summary, please do not just 'ship' your kids abroad as an international student to bring home a degree. Please be involved in the planning phase as well as the execution phase of things. Keep in touch however you can as a parent and give your kids the moral support that they need to succeed abroad.